Our world is stressful. Clearly, that sentence doesn’t begin to address the fullness of the stress. Parents, students and families feel the stress uniquely. Symptoms could show up physically, emotionally, mentally.
Each person will react/respond in their own way. Old behaviors and patterns may resurface. Have you noticed any changes in mood or behavior in your student? Have you or your student let go of some of the habits and practices that are mentally and emotionally healthy during stressful times? Are you moving the body, spending time in nature, appreciating the things that are going well, staying connected with each other?
Connection. Listening is one of the primary communication tools I use to connect with someone. In my experience, students and parents want to be seen, heard and understood. A respectful listening environment creates a feeling of safety and value. Tension seems to melt away in the presence of loving, interested listening.
I also notice that the listening is best when it starts from within. Is there anger, sadness, frustration, relief, joy inside? Is it possible to consciously breathe for a few moments and notice what is happening inside? Notice the inhale and the exhale. Notice the depth of the breath in the body. During this time of noticing, there is no need to fix anything. There is only the request to notice. If you remember your student as a child, he or she probably said “look at me” many times. The “look at me” doesn’t go away, but it usually doesn’t present itself in the same way. Everyone is saying “look at me” in some way. That need to be seen, heard and understood is alive. Can we give that gift to each other? Can we give that gift to ourselves, our students and our families?
In the spaciousness of this kind of listening, the nervous system begins to relax. The wisdom that is within each person is then more readily available. All of our students have wisdom inside them. I am a fortunate witness to the wisdom that often surprises the student.
Let the Choices Counseling Office be part of your support team. We are here to listen and understand. We are here to support you. Feel free to leave a message on 310-540-2021 x 263. Please leave your number with the message. We will call you back. You can also email us at [email protected] . You don’t have to do it alone. We are here for you.
Janet Dion, LMFT
Director Choices Counseling
Bishop Montgomery High School